Lita

Hello, fate...

Mon, 16 Apr 2001 23:38:13 GMT

As I sit here with my bottle of Killian's Irish Red goodness, I contemplate my life. Why is it that everytime I'm finally happy, it all goes to hell? I mean, you think after a while I would catch on. But I never do, and it always takes me by surprise.
I am fate's toilet. Fate's personal toilet that is crapped in and flushed away repeatedly. I KNOW THIS. I get it. Do I have to be reminded of it daily? I guess so.
I was in a great relationship. I thought it was going well...I was HAPPY. Yes, I was HAPPY. And now the other person doesn't want to be so "serious"...yet two days ago they missed me and couldn't wait to see me. They were talking about the future...and I mean way down the line, way farther than I let myself imagine. And then this happens. I don't even know what to think. I'm strangely calm...maybe it hasn't really sunk in yet. I guess I'll wait and see.

:) :) :) :) :)

Thu, 22 Mar 2001 21:42:19 GMT

It is soooo gorgeous outside! I know, I know, I shouldn't be sitting at my computer. Don't worry, I plan on going out on the back porch and chilling within the next few minutes.
Well I finally got some stuff done that I was behind on. I still feel like I'm forgetting something, when I should just feel relieved that it's done!
So I've had severe insomnia since Sunday night. It's terrible. I tried to take a nap yesterday, and couldn't even sleep then. I've been going to bed between 4 and 5 am, and still can't sleep. I'm even starting to get little wrinkles under my eyes. Not good!!!! I hope that one of these nights I just collapse from complete exhaustion. Maybe then I'll get some rest.
But lack of sleep aside, things are great. Really, really great. The weather is beautiful, school is winding down, I have an amazing person in my life, AND I get to stay in Dayton for the summer!!! :) BTW, if any of you are around June 11, come hit the bars with me for my 21st! Watch me make a completely drunken ass out of myself! It should be interesting.
OK, the sun is calling to me, so I must go and soak it up. Stop reading this and get your ass outside!!!

:-D (that's a big ass grin)

Wed, 21 Mar 2001 09:19:35 GMT

I just returned from a random, middle-of-the-night Meijer run with *someone* :) OK, it wasn't all that random--I did need contact solution--but still, it IS the middle of the night, and most normal people are like sleeping or something. But anyway, it was a lot of fun. I tried 'soy nuts' for the first time...I know, they sound scary, but they're really good! They taste like sunflower seeds, but you don't have to take a shell off or anything.
So this is night two of my current run of insomnia. But I don't care, because I'm in a great mood :) Yes, you heard me right, I'M IN A TOTALLY GREAT, HAPPY, WONDERFUL MOOD!!!! And it's all thanks to...well...YOU know who you are ;-)
So it's 4:30 am. Yeah. I should go to bed, but I know I won't be able to sleep. I guess I'll do homework...yes I'm that pathetically awake right now :)
Nighty night!

I'm ba-ack

Wed, 21 Mar 2001 05:55:42 GMT

So school's in session once again. I can't believe in just over a month I'll be a SENIOR. Scary thought. I'm getting my classes figured out, and I'm in great shape. I only need 5 more classes for my major; 4 for my minor. :) Considering this is my third major in as many years, that's damn good :)
So what's going on with that 'someone' I keep refering to on here? Well, we've reached that stage where the unavoidable question of 'what are we' comes up. Not that that's a bad thing. It can just be awkward. Like, you want to wait and see what the other person says, in case you want a serious relationship, and they just want to casually date. We talked on the phone for an hour and a half about this, and basically went in circles. But random people such as ourselves tend to do this :-P
So what do I want? In all honesty, I've never been one to date more than one person at a time. So 'dating' is basically 'going out' when it comes to me. Make sense? Probably not, but 'tis OK. I said it was up to them, I'd go with what they wanted, but of course THAT didn't work. Oh well, I'm not going to stress about it. I like this person, they like me, and that's what matters. Titles don't matter. I consider us to be in a relationship. I have no interest in anyone else. So...yeah. That's about it for that.
Anyone else counting down the days 'til summer? I know I am. I'm staying in Dayton...awww yeah :) Workin' catering, livin' in the Crest for the first time. But hey, it's free, and I need to make money this summer. Hopefully I get the full time job I called about, too.
Enough with procrastination!!! I have SO much crap due this week, and a lot of sorority stuff going on as well. My little gets initiated on Saturday, yay :) I'm excited.
Well...this is me signing off. Lata!

:-D

Sat, 10 Mar 2001 06:57:06 GMT

Spring break officially started today (after classes of course). I'm actually looking forward to going home. I miss my family, and it'll be great to just RELAX and hang out with them...although I do have a lot of school stuff to get done as well. But keeping busy is a good thing for me, so overall, it should be a good break, even though I'll be in Delphos and not on a tropical beach somewhere :-P
I'm in a great mood :) No, really, I am. There's a totally awesome person in my life right now that I've been getting to know, and even though it's different, it's definitely nice.
Well...I can't think of anything exciting to say right now. I had a fun night hanging out with Erin and Chris. We just chilled and watched a couple of movies and played some games (OK, yeah, we drank some Beast too). I was set on going home today because I thought all of my friends were, but once I found out some people were going to be around, I was glad to stay. And it ended up being a fun night.
I will miss everyone over break, but I can't wait to see my family :) I don't think they know how much I miss them and think about them when I'm here.
Well...I'm signing off for now, and I probably won't write on here over break. Bye for now! :)

A great day :)

Thu, 08 Mar 2001 05:02:43 GMT

Today was...a great day! :) I didn't make any of the one acts I tried out for, but I really didn't expect to my first time out. It was still a blast auditioning, and I'm looking forward to directing Erin's play with her.
I went for a long walk today with a very cool person...the weather was BEAUTIFUL!!! We walked all around campus, into Oakwood, and even into the cemetary to see the Wright Brothers' graves. Then we dined (in jeans and sneakers may I add) at this hoity toity Italian restaurant at the Marriott. We then wreaked havoc on the hotel, and I managed to "borrow" a notepad and pen I found in one of the big dining rooms. It was definitely a wonderful, fun evening.
There's so much more I could write down tonight...but I'm tired, so I don't feel like it :-P

tonight, tonight

Wed, 07 Mar 2001 08:42:55 GMT

Well, it's been another late night for me. It's 3:45 am, and I just got home. I had auditions for the one act play I'm directing with Erin, and then I went over to 215 to chill for a bit and get some...pizza that is ;-)
I'm really excited about getting more involved with theater. I even tried out for a few of the one acts, and although I doubt I got casted, it doesn't matter. It was so much fun! Auditioning again reminded me of how much I adored doing the few plays that I've done. Besides, keeping busy keeps me up and motivated, and that's important.
So tonight went well. I think we have an awesome cast for our show, "Richard Freshman". Although I did manage tonight to act like a royal ass in front of someone I really like. I mean a total gibbering, nervous, manic ass. Real grade school flashback for me. They probably think I'm a total schizo now. I'm not happy about that. I mean, you should have seen me. It was classic. I acted like a wacked out cartoon on speed. They even said that they thought I had acted that way when we hung out before cause I was drunk. Oh great...
But over all, a great night. 215 was fun as always. The theater stuff went awesomely. And who knows, maybe I did get cast in something? I'm sure LOTS of plays need big breasted girls with eyebrow rings and dyed red hair...especially the one about the Holocaust, and the other about Iowa farm wives. But it was a blast trying out, and I'm definitely going to do it again.
Well I better get my @$$ to bed so I don't sleep through class tomorrow...nighty night

I can't believe I'm doing this...

Wed, 07 Mar 2001 01:18:00 GMT

This is crazy. I mean, why let any random person see what I'm thinking? I guess because I can. Why not? If you're really my friend, than this shouldn't scare you...or at least I hope not.
This is going to be short because I have a lot of stuff to do tonight. Thought I'd just get started.
There has been a LOT on my mind lately. Things that I have never questioned about myself are up for debate. And it scares me. I mean, I'm 20 years old, aren't there some things I should have figured out by now?
There's probably only two of you out there who know what I'm talking about. And for now, I'm keeping it that way. Until I figure things out, that's the way it has to be. I don't think any of you would understand, not really. Not that I don't think you're my true friends...that's not what I'm saying at all. But some things are better kept quiet until they're figured out.
OK...now that I've confused and pissed you off (sorry!), I'm off to get ready for the auditions for the play I'm assistant directing....
I'll post more again later.